Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
