i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
