I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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