Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
