I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
