your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
false alarm, still single
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
