apparently the secret to your success is patron
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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