Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My bed smells like the plague
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize