How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
