I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
