I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
