I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
