You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
