He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
