just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
