But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize