if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize