i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
