whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
