so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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