FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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