Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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