it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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