Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Randomize
