He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
