Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
