the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
