Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
