White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize