am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
