The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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