I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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