do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
