Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
