problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is wine microwaveable?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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