Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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