I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
