South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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