I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
