I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize