Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
