If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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