as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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