the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
