were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize