I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
