remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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