she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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