you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
