Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
