Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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