Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
