Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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