no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
