I cockslap morals
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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