what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
