If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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