By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
