i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
