Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
