Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
