we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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