I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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