Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize