do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize