did you get engaged???
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
