Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's never too late to be topless.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
