Got a toothbrush?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
