just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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