Your tits are I can't wait for
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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