If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Green mimosas i think yes
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
