it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
