Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize