Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
