I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
