Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
