Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
