What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
