So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize