porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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