i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
