I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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