My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
