Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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