I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
