My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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