You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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