Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
