you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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