So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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