I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
