yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
