Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My ATM looks so different sober.
You're like the curious george of whores
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
